|03-11-2009, 04:44 PM||#1|
Join Date: May 2008
My encounter & testing the waters
I was out for halloween on saturday night (dressed as Wall-E ) I may have had a few too many to drink but i was enjoying myself alot.
Anywho, the night was over so I started to walk home, on the walk home i realised i never had my phone or my house keys on me and was a bit pee'd off as I thought I lost them. Turned out my friend had my phone and I left my keys in the flat before leaving but that's not too relevant.
I got to my flat security door and took off my costume I'd walked home in as it was getting heavy due to the 2 skateboards I had bolted to the bottom of the wooden frame. (I put far too much effort into that costume). Right then I heard a short burst of police siren, looked back and seen a van drive across the mini-roundabout. It drove past me so took not much notice and started to ring my buzzer in the hope my flatmate had came home before me. Alas this wasn't to be but my lonliness was short lived as 3 WPC's stepped out of the van that had turned around and came back to keep me company.
The eldest of the three came towards me and I thought to myself "I'ma try this freeman stuff out". I've never had an oppertunity to try it, I'm not a criminal or even an offender of statutes apart from the odd few miles over the speeding limit on occasion. I started the formalities with a very polite "Hello!"
"Do you live here?" was the kind response.
"No, I'm just really bad at chicken." (So you know, chicken is a game kids play when they ring doorbells and run away) Ok, that was a bit of a sarcastic comment to reply with but I was drunk and I get silly when I'm drunk but I don't get stupid, which is what they thought as you'll find out.
"What's your name?" asked the elder WPC to the man clearly in a common law jurisdiction.
"Do I have a lawful obligation to provide you with that information?"
*pause* Don't think she expected that.
She tried again. "Can you just tell me your name?"
"Can you provide me with proof that I have a lawful obligation to provideyou with my name?" Text book!!!
A second younger, might I add attractive WPC piped up with "Section 13!" Ah, that section 13 eh!? The statute that requires a PERSON to provide their name to a police officer if suspected of an offence.
"That's a statute" I volleyed back "I'm asking about a law, seeing as I'm a human being in a common law jurisdiction." Now if they admitted and said 'ok there isn't but it would help us out' then I would have went through their hoops but no they wanted the joinder.
"Look" said the first WPC "there's been an incident down the road and I just want to check it wasn't you." Now I didn't want to stop them from doing their job and they are police so of course I believed there was an 'incident down the road'.
"What sort of incident!?" I wanted to help give any information if I could.
"I can't divulge that information to you" she said.
"Well I can't divulge my personal information to you. I've just walked up from the town, carrying my heavy costume, I've lost my phone and my keys so I'm waiting for my flatmate to get home. I did see other people walking up the road. Perhaps it's them your looking for"
"We can't search him" said the eldest to the attractive one.
Ah, but who should show up right then. A 6.4ft male constable. Friendly chap!
The WPC told him I wasn't giving a name so he tried and got the same response.
"I'm gonna search you, ok?" he said as he came toward me.
"Sorry,I don't consent to any searches today" I replied politely.
"You on't have a choice" he said as he turned me around and searched my pockets unlawfully, stole my wallet and gave my drivers liscence to the WPC.
Now I know that's wrong so I asked "Whats your charlie number?"
"Mine?" he said "My numbers 999" oooh failure to identify!!
I looked at his badge "7262!"
"What you asking for then?"
"What's the address here?" interrupted the WPC running my name.
"Check." I pointed to the door. "Don't you know what it is?" I asked.
"You tell me what it is" she said. I smell joinder.
I told them I wasn't trying to be an ass and would have helped them straight off if they admitted I didn't have a lawful obligation to provide my name but they ket dodging the question. The Male PC, I found out his name to be Dave, was basically saying I was acting like a drunken chav, well ned seeing as its Scotland. I repeated the mantra of I know the difference between legal and lawful and I was standing lawfully on the land if they don't know the difference that's gross misconduct. Does a non-educated dilinquint know that Dave!? Probably not!
By this time the WPC had ran my name and it came back clean. As I told them it would. My flat mate turned up in a taxi just then and to be honest, he wasn't surprised to see me with 4 coppers around me.
They asked him "Do you live here with him?" meaning me.
He just said "yeh" and walked past them and opened the door. He wasn't up for any company with my friends.
"Ok we'll leave it at that" Dave said. I picked up my Wall-E costume and said "Bye, have a goodnight" and waved as I stepped inside. It's nice to be nice!
Looking back I know I should have stated the search was unlawful and anything he took from my pockets is theft and that I'd have the eldest WPC arrest him, and if she didn't she was not upholding her duty and oath as a PC while witnessing a crime being committed. Then so on through the other 2 WPC's.
It was funny seeing them squirm at my questions though.
|03-11-2009, 06:19 PM||#2|
Join Date: Apr 2009
Good show on your part though!
|04-11-2009, 01:58 AM||#4|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Have you noticed that Police Humor is the worst. Smallest book in the world "The Wit of the Met"
At a traffic 'incident' I moved from a particular spot a copper had asked me to remain at while they quizzed the other chap, but I walked off it to speak to the other bloke and the copper went silly... manhandled me, the lot Told him "You are NOT my God, will you desist" . They love fecking with you.