A humour thread - Page 282

screamingeagle · 05-08-2011, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nofuture

Totally awesome!!!!!!!!

lightgiver · 06-08-2011, 03:03 PM

http://forum.davidicke.com/showpost....30&postcount=8

http://forum.davidicke.com/showpost....5&postcount=15

lightgiver · 06-08-2011, 06:26 PM

Although now more commonly used to define an extremely visually challanging appearance, the word minger originally came from scottish gaelic, meaning 'septic vagina'.

http://forum.davidicke.com/showpost....0&postcount=22

wellwoman · 07-08-2011, 10:17 PM

Drugs win Ã¡llati.wmv - YouTube

wellwoman · 07-08-2011, 10:19 PM

Sasquatch music festival 2009 - Guy starts dance party - YouTube

See what power just one man can have

belfast atheist · 10-08-2011, 12:16 PM

Paddy was telling Mick about his first sky dive. "When i got to the door, i couldnt jump. So the 6ft 7 black instructor unzips his fly & drops out his 14" & says if you dont jump youre going to get this baby up your ass!" Mick asks "Did you jump". Paddy replies "A little bit when it first went in"

lightgiver · 11-08-2011, 06:22 PM

Monty Python - Trouble at the Mill/BBC comedy sketch - YouTube

Trouble at Mill

lightgiver · 12-08-2011, 01:05 AM

lightgiver · 13-08-2011, 12:03 AM

Fonejacker - Youth Offender Applies for Job - YouTube

lightgiver · 13-08-2011, 12:45 AM

UK Family Fortunes "Turkey" episode - YouTube

lightgiver · 13-08-2011, 01:15 AM

The Isle of Man (pronounced "I Love Man") is a small island-nation located just off the west coast of England Classic. Though it certainly exists in one fashion or another, many lawmakers debate it's physical existence due to a controversial act passed by British Parliament during the short-lived reign of the French Surrealists Party in 1926, declaring the island as non-existent. This act has never officially been revoked.

Often described by tourists as "a bit like that Island in Father Ted, except it isn't funny", the Isle of Man is known for its intolerance to all races, religions and creeds as well as a vast tax dodging populace of stereotypical billionaires, terrorists and bond villans.

Though racism of other cultures should not be down played, the people of the Isle of Man hold the English race in much lower regard than any other. Though this makes sense historically, it has been making less and less sense in recent years as it continues to adopt culture, law, social aspirations and immigrants from it's neighborer. This has happened to such a large extent now that English hatred could be described as an ironic and upsetting self-loathing.

Uninterestingly, the Bee Gees were born on the Isle of Man. As this is the Isle's sole claim to fame, Manx schoolchildren are required to kneel and 'pledge allegiance to the Gibbs' on a daily basis, and wear flares and stick-on beards to school. These scenes of mass idolatry resemble the Nuremberg rallies, only with a lot more hair and flare involved.

Most Manx people support Liverpool FC or Manchester United (by support I mean huddle around the one radio in Douglas and cheer “you'll never walk alone, yessir” or “out with the Glazers, yessir”. Scientists have speculated that by 2012 Man will cease to be populated, due to the spiralling suicide statistics. In a bid to curb suicide in Man, the Manx Government (Laurel & Hardy – you can’t make this up!) funded a coach trip to Morecambe for the Manx residents, believing it would lift the national spirit. 2 survived, albeit with heavily bandaged wrists.

Everyone one the isle of man thinks in the same way, none of them are unique or individual. They are ignorant, racist nobodies who should not be allowed to leave their shit island.

Some theorise that He-Man was the original son of Man, and every November 5th the Manx symbolically burn effigies of Skeletor.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__...0029555419.jpg
All aboard! The Manx Railway is globally known worldwide as one of the finest, most up to date railway services in the world.

If you are unfortunate enough to ever encounter the Isle of Man there is currently no way of getting back to the mainland. This, along with constant rain, the smell of rotting shrimp, large earthworms devouring buildings, zombies, strange wandering people who murmur strange smutterings and the inability to build anything due to strong winds makes living on the Isle of Man just that bit harder, so come now and book your one trip holiday to the Isle of Man and make something more out of your summer, book online, by phone or by post .

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Isle_of_Man

screamingeagle · 13-08-2011, 08:30 AM

Monty Python - Kilimanjaro Expedition - YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46btEgKmCTo

nofuture · 13-08-2011, 12:46 PM

Weatherman Child Molester - YouTube

belch · 13-08-2011, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lightgiver

The Isle of Man (pronounced "I Love Man") is a small island-nation located just off the west coast of England Classic. Though it certainly exists in one fashion or another, many lawmakers debate it's physical existence due to a controversial act passed by British Parliament during the short-lived reign of the French Surrealists Party in 1926, declaring the island as non-existent. This act has never officially been revoked.

Often described by tourists as "a bit like that Island in Father Ted, except it isn't funny", the Isle of Man is known for its intolerance to all races, religions and creeds as well as a vast tax dodging populace of stereotypical billionaires, terrorists and bond villans.

Though racism of other cultures should not be down played, the people of the Isle of Man hold the English race in much lower regard than any other. Though this makes sense historically, it has been making less and less sense in recent years as it continues to adopt culture, law, social aspirations and immigrants from it's neighborer. This has happened to such a large extent now that English hatred could be described as an ironic and upsetting self-loathing.

Uninterestingly, the Bee Gees were born on the Isle of Man. As this is the Isle's sole claim to fame, Manx schoolchildren are required to kneel and 'pledge allegiance to the Gibbs' on a daily basis, and wear flares and stick-on beards to school. These scenes of mass idolatry resemble the Nuremberg rallies, only with a lot more hair and flare involved.

Most Manx people support Liverpool FC or Manchester United (by support I mean huddle around the one radio in Douglas and cheer “you'll never walk alone, yessir” or “out with the Glazers, yessir”. Scientists have speculated that by 2012 Man will cease to be populated, due to the spiralling suicide statistics. In a bid to curb suicide in Man, the Manx Government (Laurel & Hardy – you can’t make this up!) funded a coach trip to Morecambe for the Manx residents, believing it would lift the national spirit. 2 survived, albeit with heavily bandaged wrists.

Everyone one the isle of man thinks in the same way, none of them are unique or individual. They are ignorant, racist nobodies who should not be allowed to leave their shit island.

Some theorise that He-Man was the original son of Man, and every November 5th the Manx symbolically burn effigies of Skeletor.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__...0029555419.jpg
All aboard! The Manx Railway is globally known worldwide as one of the finest, most up to date railway services in the world.

If you are unfortunate enough to ever encounter the Isle of Man there is currently no way of getting back to the mainland. This, along with constant rain, the smell of rotting shrimp, large earthworms devouring buildings, zombies, strange wandering people who murmur strange smutterings and the inability to build anything due to strong winds makes living on the Isle of Man just that bit harder, so come now and book your one trip holiday to the Isle of Man and make something more out of your summer, book online, by phone or by post .

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Isle_of_Man

I started collecting offal from rare breeds of sheep after a visit to the Isle of Man. It can do that to you.

I have now got a large number of kidneys, livers, hearts and guts in my private collection which i hope to one day take on the road and use to educate kids in schools about the wonders of "Rare Offal".

You can always dream eh.

lightgiver · 13-08-2011, 03:50 PM

Fonejacker - Ja Fool Needs a Shirt - YouTube

lightgiver · 13-08-2011, 04:14 PM

foxy! - YouTube

screamingeagle · 14-08-2011, 07:17 PM

George Carlin Talks About "Stuff" - YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac

lightgiver · 15-08-2011, 09:38 PM

Master of Muppets - YouTube

Metallica cover by the Muppets!

biba · 16-08-2011, 10:48 AM

"Daddy, how was I born?" "Well, son, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button , nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got Male".

biba · 16-08-2011, 10:49 AM

The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama on it. The Postal Service noticed that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: 1. The stamp is in perfect order. 2. There is nothing wrong with the glue. 3. People are spitting on the wrong side!

06-08-2011, 03:03 PM	#5622
lightgiver Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 28,691	Your Majesty http://forum.davidicke.com/showpost....30&postcount=8 http://forum.davidicke.com/showpost....5&postcount=15 Last edited by lightgiver; 06-08-2011 at 03:05 PM.

06-08-2011, 06:26 PM	#5623
lightgiver Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 28,691	Minger Although now more commonly used to define an extremely visually challanging appearance, the word minger originally came from scottish gaelic, meaning 'septic vagina'. http://forum.davidicke.com/showpost....0&postcount=22 Last edited by lightgiver; 06-08-2011 at 06:28 PM.

10-08-2011, 12:16 PM	#5626
belfast atheist Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: on the border of scotland and wales. Posts: 295	Paddy was telling Mick about his first sky dive. "When i got to the door, i couldnt jump. So the 6ft 7 black instructor unzips his fly & drops out his 14" & says if you dont jump youre going to get this baby up your ass!" Mick asks "Did you jump". Paddy replies "A little bit when it first went in" __________________ OH THE REDMAN KNOWS WAR,WITH HIS HANDS AND HIS KNIVES. ON THE BIBLE YOU SWORE, FOUGHT YOUR BATTLE WITH LIES.....Queen, white man.

13-08-2011, 01:15 AM	#5631
lightgiver Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 28,691	Isle of The Isle of Man (pronounced "I Love Man") is a small island-nation located just off the west coast of England Classic. Though it certainly exists in one fashion or another, many lawmakers debate it's physical existence due to a controversial act passed by British Parliament during the short-lived reign of the French Surrealists Party in 1926, declaring the island as non-existent. This act has never officially been revoked. Often described by tourists as "a bit like that Island in Father Ted, except it isn't funny", the Isle of Man is known for its intolerance to all races, religions and creeds as well as a vast tax dodging populace of stereotypical billionaires, terrorists and bond villans. Though racism of other cultures should not be down played, the people of the Isle of Man hold the English race in much lower regard than any other. Though this makes sense historically, it has been making less and less sense in recent years as it continues to adopt culture, law, social aspirations and immigrants from it's neighborer. This has happened to such a large extent now that English hatred could be described as an ironic and upsetting self-loathing. Uninterestingly, the Bee Gees were born on the Isle of Man. As this is the Isle's sole claim to fame, Manx schoolchildren are required to kneel and 'pledge allegiance to the Gibbs' on a daily basis, and wear flares and stick-on beards to school. These scenes of mass idolatry resemble the Nuremberg rallies, only with a lot more hair and flare involved. Most Manx people support Liverpool FC or Manchester United (by support I mean huddle around the one radio in Douglas and cheer “you'll never walk alone, yessir” or “out with the Glazers, yessir”. Scientists have speculated that by 2012 Man will cease to be populated, due to the spiralling suicide statistics. In a bid to curb suicide in Man, the Manx Government (Laurel & Hardy – you can’t make this up!) funded a coach trip to Morecambe for the Manx residents, believing it would lift the national spirit. 2 survived, albeit with heavily bandaged wrists. Everyone one the isle of man thinks in the same way, none of them are unique or individual. They are ignorant, racist nobodies who should not be allowed to leave their shit island. Some theorise that He-Man was the original son of Man, and every November 5th the Manx symbolically burn effigies of Skeletor. http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__...0029555419.jpg All aboard! The Manx Railway is globally known worldwide as one of the finest, most up to date railway services in the world. If you are unfortunate enough to ever encounter the Isle of Man there is currently no way of getting back to the mainland. This, along with constant rain, the smell of rotting shrimp, large earthworms devouring buildings, zombies, strange wandering people who murmur strange smutterings and the inability to build anything due to strong winds makes living on the Isle of Man just that bit harder, so come now and book your one trip holiday to the Isle of Man and make something more out of your summer, book online, by phone or by post . http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Isle_of_Man Last edited by lightgiver; 13-08-2011 at 02:24 AM.

16-08-2011, 10:48 AM	#5639
biba Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 118	"Daddy, how was I born?" "Well, son, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button , nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got Male". __________________ "In the end you will walk out (British will leave India) because 100,000 Englishmen simply cannot control 350 million Indians if those Indians refuse to cooperative, and that is what we intend to achieve. Peaceful, nonviolent, noncooperation until you yourself see the wisdom of leaving." Mohandas Gandhi.

12-08-2011, 01:05 AM	#5628
lightgiver Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 28,691

16-08-2011, 10:49 AM	#5640
biba Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 118	The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama on it. The Postal Service noticed that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: 1. The stamp is in perfect order. 2. There is nothing wrong with the glue. 3. People are spitting on the wrong side! __________________ "In the end you will walk out (British will leave India) because 100,000 Englishmen simply cannot control 350 million Indians if those Indians refuse to cooperative, and that is what we intend to achieve. Peaceful, nonviolent, noncooperation until you yourself see the wisdom of leaving." Mohandas Gandhi.