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Old 29-04-2013, 08:46 AM   #1
john_court
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Default I'm Depressed And It's Starting To Feel Normal

For the past 5 years, I've been in a prolonged funk.

I spent a long time training for a specific career, but then realized even if I did find a full time career position, I'd have to move out to the boonies, and live my life working with people I didn't want to work with, and living somewhere I didn't want to live.

So, I found a series of part time positions, which ironically, turned me off even further to my chosen profession.

This 'funk' coincides with my discovery of the work of david icke, jordan maxwell, alex jones, etc etc etc.

Ever since then, I've been torn between my disgust for the stupidity of the human race, and my sense of guilt for not fulfilling my 'promise' in my chosen career.

And coinciding with all of that, I developed a chronic tinnitus, which is likely the principle source of prolonged funk.

At this point, I've been in an emotional funk for so long, I don't know if it's healthy to become "happy" with mainstream life again, or whether it's healthier ironically to be depressed with all of this shyte.

I'm just rambling now, but I feel stuck between wanting to get out of this funk and feeling bad about wanting to rejoin what may be an insane society.
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Old 29-04-2013, 08:55 AM   #2
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Im no expert but it sounds like you are easily influenced by third parties (peopke, documentaries etc).
Take a month away from it all and focus on doing a few things that raise your spirits - the rest will fall into place when you learn how to be happy again.
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Old 29-04-2013, 08:56 AM   #3
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Welcome to the party.
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Old 29-04-2013, 09:37 AM   #4
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Welcome to the party.


We've all been there... or are still there...

I did the same sort of thing... got a degree but then got a job in a different field which I stuck out for 6 years...a bit too long... then I lost the job..

Now I have little experience in the area I originally wanted to work in and will never go back to the other career... so a bit stuck...

My mindset is a bit off skew now for my original career path so having to rethink what to do next...

Living amongst others and coping with the madness out there is something that you just get used to... you have to find a balance...

I watch films and tv series with the family... like Breaking Bad and now The Walking Dead... and it's different watching these things with eyes open...

I take time out of here sometimes to paint and play music and read... otherwise I go stir crazy...

Sorry about the tinnitus... I had it once... my daughter had to go into hospital when she was a baby and cried for 24 hours on my shoulder... I got tinnitus for over a year after that... it suddenly went and I didn't notice...

it was like a high pitched whistle sound that was in synch with other noises... like when people spoke...
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Old 29-04-2013, 09:44 AM   #5
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A simple rule

Don't expect much from people, and learn to enjoy yourself, by yourself.


As for a reply to you OP, reality is not elation, or depression, it's how your reality is at the moment and how your self is perceiving your situations, with people, places and things.

Last edited by alienbiketrail; 29-04-2013 at 09:45 AM.
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Old 29-04-2013, 09:45 AM   #6
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Hi John,

When in a state of depression life can seem insurmountable but remember this is not your natural state and depression can be turned around.

Firstly, ask yourself if you want to be well, if you decide you do then make a positve step to move forward and push through. This all starts in the mind.

Take 'Baby steps', be gentle with yourself. Depression can make you fragile.

Prehaps you could start with setting yourself a goal each morning it doesn't have to be anything major, in fact pick something simple that you can achive but set your mind to it and 'do it'. somedays prehaps you wont achive this and thats ok just start agin the next day.

Keep doing this and it will put you into gear in which you will start to move forward. 'Baby steps' all the way untill you get stronger then you can begin to tackle the bigger issues in your life.

Understand that the way your thinking of the world and the people in it is coming from a distorted view of a depressed mind and yes, thing's aren't great but people cope and can even be happy and you are no different you may feel as though you are but the strange thoughts are just another symptom of this and it is not the who that you really are.

I am sorry to hear about the tinitus it is something my husband also suffers from and it can be a pain in the arse but it may well settle down a bit when your stress levels come down.

John, I wish you well and send you strength and good thoughts for your recovery and Im sure you will get a lot more support from other members on here.
Take good care of yourself

P.S you could also get yourself some good quality vitamins and minerals to help boost you up.
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Old 29-04-2013, 09:49 AM   #7
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And coinciding with all of that, I developed a chronic tinnitus, which is likely the principle source of prolonged funk.
I also have chronic tinnitus, awful condition!
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Old 29-04-2013, 09:51 AM   #8
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Next time you are feeling funky, ask yourself, "am I taking things to seriously right now"?
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Old 29-04-2013, 09:55 AM   #9
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Next time you are feeling funky, ask yourself, "am I taking things to seriously right now"?
Thats sound advice.
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Old 29-04-2013, 09:57 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by john_court View Post
For the past 5 years, I've been in a prolonged funk.

I spent a long time training for a specific career, but then realized even if I did find a full time career position, I'd have to move out to the boonies, and live my life working with people I didn't want to work with, and living somewhere I didn't want to live.

So, I found a series of part time positions, which ironically, turned me off even further to my chosen profession.

This 'funk' coincides with my discovery of the work of david icke, jordan maxwell, alex jones, etc etc etc.

Ever since then, I've been torn between my disgust for the stupidity of the human race, and my sense of guilt for not fulfilling my 'promise' in my chosen career.

And coinciding with all of that, I developed a chronic tinnitus, which is likely the principle source of prolonged funk.

At this point, I've been in an emotional funk for so long, I don't know if it's healthy to become "happy" with mainstream life again, or whether it's healthier ironically to be depressed with all of this shyte.

I'm just rambling now, but I feel stuck between wanting to get out of this funk and feeling bad about wanting to rejoin what may be an insane society.
You sound totally sane to me. If only I could be as happy as you.
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Old 29-04-2013, 10:06 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by john_court View Post
For the past 5 years, I've been in a prolonged funk.

I spent a long time training for a specific career, but then realized even if I did find a full time career position, I'd have to move out to the boonies, and live my life working with people I didn't want to work with, and living somewhere I didn't want to live.

So, I found a series of part time positions, which ironically, turned me off even further to my chosen profession.

This 'funk' coincides with my discovery of the work of david icke, jordan maxwell, alex jones, etc etc etc.

Ever since then, I've been torn between my disgust for the stupidity of the human race, and my sense of guilt for not fulfilling my 'promise' in my chosen career.

And coinciding with all of that, I developed a chronic tinnitus, which is likely the principle source of prolonged funk.

At this point, I've been in an emotional funk for so long, I don't know if it's healthy to become "happy" with mainstream life again, or whether it's healthier ironically to be depressed with all of this shyte.

I'm just rambling now, but I feel stuck between wanting to get out of this funk and feeling bad about wanting to rejoin what may be an insane society.
First of all didnt you research your chosen career before you started it?

Second-I too have tinnitus, it is a show stopper for sure and I fully understand why you have slipped into or make a depression even worse, but, having been there, I can say that there is life beyond it. Seriously, if you need to speak to someone who has lived with it for 20 years and has hit rock bottom before and bounced back not once but twice (and i have the aborted suicide attempt scars on my face to go with it)please do p.m me.

Thirdly- my head got fucked up with all the Icke and other theories, particularly in the run up to 2012 and now when I look back I have come to realise that there is no truth. People here go on about how they have woke up to 'the truth' and nine times out of ten it depresses them. The real truth is that there is no truth, there is only perception. What Icke see's one way others see differently and so on. YOU make YOUR mind up. I decided everybody talks shite, that's how I cope

I came to realise all this when 2012 came and went without a fuckin whimper and my advice is wake up to yourself, wake up to what you think. There is no law that says you have to believe what the media tell you or what alternative media tells you. That's why I'm such a thorn in people's side here....because I don't blindly follow the sheep mentality that exists right here, likewise I don't buy everything I read in the press.

By the way, well done for taking up the challenge to better yourself, despite the fact that it may not have worked out for you, the desire to improve is admirable.


Hope this helps.

Last edited by machine; 29-04-2013 at 10:11 AM.
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Old 29-04-2013, 10:11 AM   #12
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Thats sound advice.
sound as a pound
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Old 29-04-2013, 10:17 AM   #13
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First of all didnt you research your chosen career before you started it?

Second-I too have tinnitus, it is a show stopper for sure and I fully understand why you have slipped into or make a depression even worse, but, having been there, I can say that there is life beyond it. Seriously, if you need to speak to someone who has lived with it for 20 years and has hit rock bottom before and bounced back not once but twice (and i have the aborted suicide attempt scars on my face to go with it)please do p.m me.

Thirdly- my head got fucked up with all the Icke and other theories, particularly in the run up to 2012 and now when I look back I have come to realise that there is no truth. People here go on about how they have woke up to 'the truth' and nine times out of ten it depresses them. The real truth is that there is no truth, there is only perception. What Icke see's one way others see differently and so on. YOU make YOUR mind up. I decided everybody talks shite, that's how I cope

I came to realise all this when 2012 came and went without a fuckin whimper and my advice is wake up to yourself, wake up to what you think. There is no law that says you have to believe what the media tell you or what alternative media tells you. That's why I'm such a thorn in people's side here....because I don't blindly follow the sheep mentality that exists right here, likewise I don't buy everything I read in the press.

By the way, well done for taking up the challenge to better yourself, despite the fact that it may not have worked out for you, the desire to improve is admirable.


Hope this helps.
Brilliiant post
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Old 30-04-2013, 03:24 AM   #14
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It's hard to be happy in an insane world.
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Old 30-04-2013, 03:42 AM   #15
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It's hard to be happy in an insane world.
It's very easy to be happy in an insane world at least when you want to be. All you have to do is laugh at the insanity and overwhelming stupidity of it all, and at yourself... and be thankful that you are one of the people who can see how stupid it is. It's a short and temporary ride. There's a lot of good going on too. Spend time focusing on that, and don't give all your emotions over to these people.
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Old 30-04-2013, 07:10 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by john_court View Post
For the past 5 years, I've been in a prolonged funk.

I spent a long time training for a specific career, but then realized even if I did find a full time career position, I'd have to move out to the boonies, and live my life working with people I didn't want to work with, and living somewhere I didn't want to live.

So, I found a series of part time positions, which ironically, turned me off even further to my chosen profession.

This 'funk' coincides with my discovery of the work of david icke, jordan maxwell, alex jones, etc etc etc.

Ever since then, I've been torn between my disgust for the stupidity of the human race, and my sense of guilt for not fulfilling my 'promise' in my chosen career.

And coinciding with all of that, I developed a chronic tinnitus, which is likely the principle source of prolonged funk.

At this point, I've been in an emotional funk for so long, I don't know if it's healthy to become "happy" with mainstream life again, or whether it's healthier ironically to be depressed with all of this shyte.

I'm just rambling now, but I feel stuck between wanting to get out of this funk and feeling bad about wanting to rejoin what may be an insane society.
Hang in there friend!
Thank you for sharing with all, for your misfortunes can let someone else know they aren't alone.

Only sound advice I could give; focus on the Love, focus on the spiritual aspect of life. IMO it's the most important angle. Remember that this whole ballgame is an illusion, and what truly matters is THE SOUL and the decisions we take.


'Awakening' can be rough... be deep down, I believe almost ~everything~ is illusion... so even awakening and feeling like we know better than others is total illusion. To me it's like a big video game with my soul (and everyone else's) at stake. eheh no pressure or anything.

Blessings!
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Old 30-04-2013, 08:03 PM   #17
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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

― William Gibson


On a personal note, I can't find anything that seems more depressing than mainstream way of life.

Live free in spirit.
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Old 30-04-2013, 08:12 PM   #18
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I know how you feel.... Suspect everyone on here does

First of all, depression can never become "normal", as it is by definition a message that "something's wrong". It is possible to be in a bad situation for a very long time and for many other people to share it without it being "normal" - something being common or frequent is not the same as it being normal.

Second, there are basic physical things that can make you depressed, including bad or low-fat diets, lack of exercise, poor sleep, vitamin deficiency and so on. I recommend trying to clean up your diet - fresh food, no processed junk - eating natural fats (found in fish, meat, nuts etc - not processed vegetable oils), cutting down on refined carbs, and taking vitamin supplements. Try a B-vitamin complex and magnesium to start with.

Also do a bit of exercise every day - doesn't have to be anything exhausting, just going for a walk is fine - and make sure you get enough sleep.

I'm not a psychologist, but my personal view as to why so many people are depressed is that we are social, pack animals who are forced to live as "individuals" in a way that is very unnatural to us. We are told all the time to focus on ourselves, our careers, out dreams, our happiness, and pursue them independently, without relying on other people.

But humans are designed to rely on other people; we're not a solitary animal. We flourished because we are fundamentally sociable and co-operative, and can achieve many great things working alongside other people.

The happiest I've ever been is when working alongside others on achieving something that is meaningful to all of us. It is from this backdrop that real, meaningful connections and friendships develop. Friendships based on the fact that you once sat in an office or classroom together aren't based on anything substantial and so they often feel empty and fall apart.

While we need connection with others to feel happy and fulfilled, it is vital it is MEANINGFUL connection, not just other warm bodies in the room. So my best advice is to try and get involved with some meaningful endeavour (something that means something to you) where you have to work alongside and in co-operation (not competition) with other people to get results.

Although I haven't quite managed to apply this advice to my own life yet, I still do think it is at least a part of the answer.
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Old 30-04-2013, 08:41 PM   #19
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I have a friend who suffers from depression etc , he asked me once about alex jones , icke and whether or not it was all true , i said no no dont bother with anything like that.

Some people are better of not knowing.
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Old 30-04-2013, 09:02 PM   #20
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I decided everybody talks shite, that's how I cope
I've been saying that EVERYTHING IS WRONG
since 2001 but nobody seems to get it.
I'm glad to see another one coming to this.

David Icke and the rest just make
our already difficult lives even more difficult.
This so called awakening is a curse.

Thank you, David Icke!

Last edited by plam; 30-04-2013 at 09:03 PM.
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