Why are people posting this stuff?

[machine]

Why are people posting problems that are better served elsewhere?

Since when was the DI forum a place to get your household items fixed; your computers fixed or express silly little grievances like sniffing when there are other forums out there that would be better served to answer your problem (or simply just use a search engine ffs) and with regards to the silly little grievances simply grow the fuck up.

Fuckin hell my arsehole is itchy right now and I'm in the office surrounded by other people -what do I do?? WHAT DO I DO PEOPLE???? Do I need to ask your advice or do I simply just go the toilet and give it a good scratch?

Move on, use your fuckin noggins to get your simple household problems solved and stop posting dross for fucks sake......

[bluegrazz]

Originally Posted by machine

Why are people posting problems that are better served elsewhere?

Since when was the DI forum a place to get your household items fixed; your computers fixed or express silly little grievances like sniffing when there are other forums out there that would be better served to answer your problem (or simply just use a search engine ffs) and with regards to the silly little grievances simply grow the fuck up.

Fuckin hell my arsehole is itchy right now and I'm in the office surrounded by other people -what do I do?? WHAT DO I DO PEOPLE???? Do I need to ask your advice or do I simply just go the toilet and give it a good scratch?

Move on, use your fuckin noggins to get your simple household problems solved and stop posting dross for fucks sake......

Is there a coworker available to "help you"? Its very important to always use the buddy system, even whilst scratching your ass.

DO NOT try googling anything about this problem as "Do I scratch my ass in front of people or go to the bathroom in private" brings up Gay, Voyeur, watersport porn from Sweden (those BASTARDS)

You did the right thing by coming here first with this problem-

[machine]

Originally Posted by bluegrazz

Is there a coworker available to "help you"? Its very important to always use the buddy system, even whilst scratching your ass.

DO NOT try googling anything about this problem as "Do I scratch my ass in front of people or go to the bathroom in private" brings up Gay, Voyeur, watersport porn from Sweden (those BASTARDS)

You did the right thing by coming here first with this problem-

That's great thanks - I'm glad I came here first and didnt use my brain.

I asked my manager, who looked at me over his glasses and said 'Go to the toilet and scratch it yourself you dirty bastard'!

I've asked him if we could talk about this problem in my next review.

[alienbiketrail]

I predict this thread will be a classic.

[bluegrazz]

Originally Posted by machine

That's great thanks - I'm glad I came here first and didnt use my brain.

I asked my manager, who looked at me over his glasses and said 'Go to the toilet and scratch it yourself you dirty bastard'!

I've asked him if we could talk about this problem in my next review.

Awesome , glad it all worked out. See, nothing but good advice from the DI forum community.

Maybe you could help me with a little problem as well. I was really thinking about seriously investing in some stock. I will be putting in my whole life savings (actually I am using my wifes inheritance money- She will be happy when I double or triple it) and figured, "why worry about hiring a broker" when I have the DI forum and a day trading website.

Monsanto stock perhaps? CCA ?

What should I buy

Edit: Besides, my wife doesnt need that operation THIS SECOND- We can invest that money and I am sure she will hold on long enough for the invested money to double.

[bluegrazz]

Originally Posted by ownoiz

another option is register an ABN in australia. (Australian Business Number)

then deposit the cash in an investment account, Oz pays 4.75% per annum, more if you lock it in a term deposit.

the biggest risk is currency fluctuation, as you would have to convert your $$ to Australian, so please be aware of that.

The banks here guarantee deposits for up to $250 K. If you have more, just open another bank account at a different bank. So theres not much risk of losing your money, unless you start listening to DOOMers. (who are wrong)

Just please be aware of currency fluctuation.

Investing in cash deposit accounts, as you are already aware (i read your posts) means you dont have to go through the stress of trading and possible market turmoil...(you can sit on your a$$ and get payed is the technical term.)

Sound financial advice on the DIF. You're welcome
.

I cannot argue with logic.

[consciousness]

Originally Posted by machine

Why are people posting problems that are better served elsewhere?

Since when was the DI forum a place to get your household items fixed; your computers fixed or express silly little grievances like sniffing when there are other forums out there that would be better served to answer your problem (or simply just use a search engine ffs) and with regards to the silly little grievances simply grow the fuck up.

Fuckin hell my arsehole is itchy right now and I'm in the office surrounded by other people -what do I do?? WHAT DO I DO PEOPLE???? Do I need to ask your advice or do I simply just go the toilet and give it a good scratch?

Move on, use your fuckin noggins to get your simple household problems solved and stop posting dross for fucks sake......

Come on man, it's the general section, and it's just making conversation and even promoting camaraderie of sorts.

[white zombie]

Dear machine,

I suspect my dog is turning emo as he just lies there all day doing nothing but whinge and he has developed a fringe over one eye. I also caught him listening to My Chemical Romance.

What can I do to fix this?

[busa]

Originally Posted by machine

Why are people posting problems that are better served elsewhere?

Since when was the DI forum a place to get your household items fixed; your computers fixed or express silly little grievances like sniffing when there are other forums out there that would be better served to answer your problem (or simply just use a search engine ffs) and with regards to the silly little grievances simply grow the fuck up.

Fuckin hell my arsehole is itchy right now and I'm in the office surrounded by other people -what do I do?? WHAT DO I DO PEOPLE???? Do I need to ask your advice or do I simply just go the toilet and give it a good scratch?

Move on, use your fuckin noggins to get your simple household problems solved and stop posting dross for fucks sake......

Why not?

There are a lot of "instant experts" on here.

[patb]

Originally Posted by white zombie

Dear machine,

I suspect my dog is turning emo as he just lies there all day doing nothing but whinge and he has developed a fringe over one eye. I also caught him listening to My Chemical Romance.

What can I do to fix this?

HAHAHAHAHA oh wonderful ; thanks.

[patb]

Originally Posted by ownoiz

Allow me to field this question

Get yourself some nasal spray, one of those pump dispensers.

Unscrew the lid, pour out the nasal spray and rinse.

Fill the nasal spray bottle with a mixture of pure cocaine and water.

Nasal spray your dogs nose 3x per day.

Emo symptoms will vanish, though side effects may include your dog becoming narcissistic and developing delusions of grandeur. Both of these symptoms are much preferrable to emo.

Alternatively, if you dont want to do the coke thing, put half an ex tablet (pure MDMA only) in its food, and play some techno music loudly. Again emo symptoms will vanish, but the dog may get messy with its do dos, and also want to lick your face excessively.

Hope that helps.

.

Ditto

I would suggest addressing your problems to 'aunty machine' though, in keeping with the theme

[verndewd]

Originally Posted by machine

Why are people posting problems that are better served elsewhere?

Since when was the DI forum a place to get your household items fixed; your computers fixed or express silly little grievances like sniffing when there are other forums out there that would be better served to answer your problem (or simply just use a search engine ffs) and with regards to the silly little grievances simply grow the fuck up.

Fuckin hell my arsehole is itchy right now and I'm in the office surrounded by other people -what do I do?? WHAT DO I DO PEOPLE???? Do I need to ask your advice or do I simply just go the toilet and give it a good scratch?

Move on, use your fuckin noggins to get your simple household problems solved and stop posting dross for fucks sake......

welll lets not call it a community, lets call it a worshipping place. be a good servant and speak on non community things. I just love fascists. from being fraudlently in their empoly as a "subcontractor", to seeing them turn communities into marching cadence.

[gremlin]

Originally Posted by machine

Why are people posting problems that are better served elsewhere?

Since when was the DI forum a place to get your household items fixed; your computers fixed or express silly little grievances like sniffing when there are other forums out there that would be better served to answer your problem (or simply just use a search engine ffs) and with regards to the silly little grievances simply grow the fuck up.

Fuckin hell my arsehole is itchy right now and I'm in the office surrounded by other people -what do I do?? WHAT DO I DO PEOPLE???? Do I need to ask your advice or do I simply just go the toilet and give it a good scratch?

Move on, use your fuckin noggins to get your simple household problems solved and stop posting dross for fucks sake......

It is like you read my mind.

[alf hearted]

Why are people posting this stuff asking why people are posting stuff, on a forum where people post stuff and other people ask stuff about that stuff? It's another one of life's mysteries, OP.

[space man]

The whole point of asking for advice here is so that like minded people can give like minded advice.

[neutrino]

This forum is a community of people and as a community I think it's a positive thing to discuss other things. We get to understand and know eachother better and as a result when we talk about the more important stuff we can feel like a real community rather than a bunch of complete strangers.

[entrangermercenary]

Originally Posted by machine

Why are people posting problems that are better served elsewhere?

Since when was the DI forum a place to get your household items fixed; your computers fixed or express silly little grievances like sniffing when there are other forums out there that would be better served to answer your problem (or simply just use a search engine ffs) and with regards to the silly little grievances simply grow the fuck up.

Fuckin hell my arsehole is itchy right now and I'm in the office surrounded by other people -what do I do?? WHAT DO I DO PEOPLE???? Do I need to ask your advice or do I simply just go the toilet and give it a good scratch?

Move on, use your fuckin noggins to get your simple household problems solved and stop posting dross for fucks sake......

Hmmm Scratching your ass

Just get one of the birds in the office to do it ....man or mouse

[knowthyself1]

Originally Posted by machine

Why are people posting problems that are better served elsewhere?

Since when was the DI forum a place to get your household items fixed; your computers fixed or express silly little grievances like sniffing when there are other forums out there that would be better served to answer your problem (or simply just use a search engine ffs) and with regards to the silly little grievances simply grow the fuck up.

Fuckin hell my arsehole is itchy right now and I'm in the office surrounded by other people -what do I do?? WHAT DO I DO PEOPLE???? Do I need to ask your advice or do I simply just go the toilet and give it a good scratch?

Move on, use your fuckin noggins to get your simple household problems solved and stop posting dross for fucks sake......

Completly agree. It's just more shit for us to sieve through

C'mon folks, let's not slip into mental laziness

[machine]

Originally Posted by space man

The whole point of asking for advice here is so that like minded people can give like minded advice.

Computer advice=computer forum
Sowing machines = sowing forum
Getting annoyed over sniffing = mental health forum
Ass scratching = Hemorrhoids forum

duh.....

[alf hearted]

Originally Posted by machine

Computer advice=computer forum
Sowing machines = sowing forum
Getting annoyed over sniffing = mental health forum
Ass scratching = Hemorrhoids forum

duh.....

General stuff exploring mankind's common interests and peculiarities/traits = General Forum