Marriage and Children - Good vs. Bad Reasons

[wwu777]

Hi all,
This is the OP. I just added two more paragraphs to my essay in the conclusion section, to clear up some misconceptions that people have brought up. Here they are:

Now I know someone reading this is going to think, "Well if everyone thought like that, then the human race would come to an end. And if your parents thought like that, there wouldn't be you." Well yes that's true. But that doesn't invalidate the facts and consequences above. The fact is, everyone is NOT going to think like me, nor will I think like them. I am not like my parents, and you can't expect me to be. I could use the same type of logic and say to you, "Do you want to be a garbage collector? If not, then if everyone thought like you, there'd be no one to collect the garbage." Or I could ask you, "Do you want to spend 8 years in medical school to become a doctor? If not, then if everyone thought like you, there'd be no doctors or healthcare system." You see how that would go? The lesson here is that you can't force someone to be something they are not, just to live up to YOUR expectations. People are different. Some need children. Others don't. Some are suited to be parents enslaved to their children. Others are not. You can't label me as something I'm not and expect me to live up to it. That's a fallacy - to assume that everyone is like you and wants the same things you do. They are not and they don't.

Now let me make a distinction here. I do not hate children. I like them - when they behave and are cute and sweet that is. But just because I like them doesn't mean I want to be enslaved by them. Liking something and wanting to be enslaved by it are two different things. I like my friends, but that doesn't mean I want to be enslaved by them. I like animals too, but I wouldn't want to be enslaved by them. You can like sex and alcohol too, but would it be a good thing to be enslaved by them? See what I mean? Not everyone is cut out for slavery and servitude to children. You gotta understand that.

[wwu777]

Originally Posted by boudica52

Children are a joy, until you have held your child in your arms, rationalisations and explainations mean nothing.

I have done that. It was very nice to hold my child for the first time. Yes, that's special. True. However, that doesn't mean I'm willing to become enslave to them or give up my life and freedom in servitude to them.

See above. Liking something and becoming enslaved to it are two different things.

[psketti]

Originally Posted by wwu777

I have done that. It was very nice to hold my child for the first time. Yes, that's special. True. However, that doesn't mean I'm willing to become enslave to them or give up my life and freedom in servitude to them.

See above. Liking something and becoming enslaved to it are two different things.

You are a fucking twat. Seriously.

[spectero666]

Originally Posted by psketti

You are a fucking twat. Seriously.

So you have to get personal when somebody doesn't agree with you....fine parent you are.

[psketti]

Originally Posted by spectero666

So you have to get personal when somebody doesn't agree with you....fine parent you are.

Nothing to do with that. I'm glad he doesn't agree with me because like I said, he's a fucking twat.

Someone with as clear views on children as the OP clearly has, shouldn't have had any kids to begin with. He must be a delightful fucking father

[spectero666]

Originally Posted by psketti

Nothing to do with that. I'm glad he doesn't agree with me because like I said, he's a fucking twat.

Someone with as clear views on children as the OP clearly has, shouldn't have had any kids to begin with. He must be a delightful fucking father

Maybe he's just being honest about how he feels...

[psketti]

Originally Posted by spectero666

Maybe he's just being honest about how he feels...

Probably.

Bit fucking late now though ain't he.

[spectero666]

Originally Posted by psketti

Probably.

Bit fucking late now though ain't he.

Not really he could always do a runner.

[psketti]

Originally Posted by spectero666

Not really he could always do a runner.

Chances are, the cunt already has.

[spectero666]

Originally Posted by psketti

Chances are, the cunt already has.

[aheroicstand]

Originally Posted by spectero666

So you have to get personal when somebody doesn't agree with you....fine parent you are.

Obviously a better parent than one who thinks his own child "enslaves" him.

WWU777, Get over yourself dude. The human life you're responsible for is worth more than the desires you feel can't be fulfilled because of his existence.

Raise him right and it'll be a far greater investment than any traveling or sex or whatever else you think you're missing. Thinking of him as a burden and treating him like one will not give you any of that back, you better recognize the great gift you have and stop focusing on the negative aspects of it.

[spectero666]

Originally Posted by aheroicstand

Obviously a better parent than one who thinks his own child "enslaves" him. Get over yourself dude. The human life you're responsible for is worth more than the desires you feel can't be fulfilled because of his existence.

Raise him right and it'll be a far greater investment than any traveling or sex or whatever else you think you're missing. Thinking of him as a burden and treating him like one will not give you any of that back, you better recognize the great gift you have and stop focusing on the negative aspects of it.

I'm not a dude...your not going to convince me to bring another consumer into this fucking mess.....I don't need another entity to make me feel worthwhile.

[aheroicstand]

Originally Posted by spectero666

I'm not a dude...your not going to convince me to bring another consumer into this fucking mess.....I don't need another entity to make me feel worthwhile.

That part was directed toward wwu, not you.

There are already enough kids/people in this world who aren't loved, we don't need any more. Raising a family should improve the world by bringing in a member of the next generation who contributes positively to the family and to the society. Don't do it if you're not up to the task.

[geewhizz]

Originally Posted by dawnbreak

piffle !

having children is one of the most rewarding experiences you can ever achieve in this lifetime

Rubbish, it depends how you bring them up too!
Watch Jeremy Kyle.

[spectero666]

Originally Posted by aheroicstand

That part was directed toward wwu, not you.

There are already enough kids/people in this world who aren't loved, we don't need any more. Raising a family should improve the world by bringing in a member of the next generation who contributes positively to the family and to the society. Don't do it if you're not up to the task.

Well if wasn't directed at me...then why did you quote my post?.....

[tamlinn]

Originally Posted by wwu777

This is the OP. I've changed the paragraphs about the facts and consequences of children. Here are the updated paragraphs:

- Children are detrimental to your peace of mind and health, which are the most important things in life. They give you lots of constant worry and stress, which in turn damages your health. And as we all know, health is priceless and the most important thing in life. Peace of mind is the next most important thing in life. But children are not good for either one.

- Children take away your freedom, enslave you, and tie you down. They destroy and impair your personal freedom for 20+ years. You will be obligated to give up your life and freedom to become enslaved in servitude to the needs of a "spoiled brat". And if you hate or regret it, then tough luck, because once you start, there is no quitting or turning back. Thus, it could turn out to be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! As a parent, you will be "tied down" while you work hard everyday to provide money for a good home for them. Your life will no longer be your own, but indebted into servitude for their welfare. It is also hard and unpleasant to travel when you have kids, whether you bring them along or not. (Think of the Chevy Chase "Vacation" movies where family trips are anything but fun) So if you really love to travel, you might want to consider that.

- Children are a big drain on your resources - in terms of finances, time, energy and emotions. You will not be reimbursed or reap any tangible rewards or profits from this drain either. So from a business standpoint, having children is the worst business decision you could ever make, as the relationship is a completely one-sided affair, with them receiving all the benefits while you get sucked up dry. The money you spend raising them from birth to adulthood, would be better spent investing in a business, real estate properties, savings, or mutual fund portfolios so that you can be free to travel the world and live to your heart's desire.

You should walk away from your child. You sound like my father who always kept his obligations to his children but never let us forget that we were a burden to him. Finally he told us that he was choosing "happiness" and walked away when we were adults. I wish he had when we were young.

[tamlinn]

Originally Posted by wwu777

Hi all,
This is the OP. I just added two more paragraphs to my essay in the conclusion section, to clear up some misconceptions that people have brought up. Here they are:

Now I know someone reading this is going to think, "Well if everyone thought like that, then the human race would come to an end. Just be thankful that your parents didn't think like that, or else there wouldn't be you." Well yes that's true. But that doesn't invalidate the facts and consequences above. Everyone is NOT going to think like me, nor will I think like them. I am not like my parents, and you can't expect me to be. I could use the same type of logic and say to you, "Do you want to be a garbage collector? If not, then if everyone thought like you, there'd be no one to collect the garbage." Or I could ask you, "Do you want to spend 8 years in medical school to become a doctor? If not, then if everyone thought like you, there'd be no doctors or healthcare system." You see how that would go? The lesson here is that you can't force someone to be something they are not, just to live up to YOUR expectations. People are different. Some need children. Others don't. Some are suited to be parents enslaved to their children. Others are not. You can't label me as something I'm not and expect me to live up to it. That's a fallacy - to assume that everyone is like you and wants the same things you do. They are not and they don't.

Now let me make a distinction here. I do not hate children. I like them - when they behave and are cute and sweet that is. But just because I like them doesn't mean I want to be enslaved by them. Liking something and wanting to be enslaved by it are two different things. I like my friends, but that doesn't mean I want to be enslaved by them. I like animals too, but I wouldn't want to be enslaved by them. You can like sex and alcohol too, but would it be a good thing to be enslaved by them? See what I mean? Not everyone is cut out for slavery and servitude to children. You gotta understand that.

All you men out there who think this way, vasectomies are quick and easy, you know? But now you bring a child into the world which you despise. I just don't understand people like you. You are just trying to justify the reasons you don't want to parent your own child.

[wwu777]

Originally Posted by aheroicstand

Obviously a better parent than one who thinks his own child "enslaves" him.

WWU777, Get over yourself dude. The human life you're responsible for is worth more than the desires you feel can't be fulfilled because of his existence.

Raise him right and it'll be a far greater investment than any traveling or sex or whatever else you think you're missing. Thinking of him as a burden and treating him like one will not give you any of that back, you better recognize the great gift you have and stop focusing on the negative aspects of it.

Sorry but you are using what's called "The Identity Trap". Suppose I were a doctor and told you that you would be happy going to medical school for 8 years and becoming a doctor afterward, and that it will be the most rewarding experience you can ever have. That would be a fallacy, because just because it was the most rewarding experience I ever had doesn't make it true for you.

Everyone is different. You forget that and assume that others are like you and feel the same way you do. Not true. I know myself better than you.

[wwu777]

Originally Posted by tamlinn

You should walk away from your child. You sound like my father who always kept his obligations to his children but never let us forget that we were a burden to him. Finally he told us that he was choosing "happiness" and walked away when we were adults. I wish he had when we were young.

What do you mean walk away? I am living freely by traveling the world. I do not see my son everyday or every month. I still do what I want, but I provide support to him. My son lives in a third world country, where cost of living is much cheaper than it is in the US or UK. So he's not a huge financial burden. But he is certainly the most needy codependent toddler I've ever seen.

Truth is, I'd rather be happy and free, with everyone's disapproval, then be unhappy and miserable and have everyone's approval. There's no contest.

To be honest though, the reason I wanted a child was because I felt empty without one, which is natural. So if I didn't have one, I'd regret it too. It's one of those things I regret either way. Life often puts you between a rock and a hard place. Many decisions in life are not win-lose or win-win. Often they result in regret either way.

[tamlinn]

That's it, you have me convinced. I have realized that after having my children, that they are enslaving me. I'm dropping them off at family services and going to travel the world.