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Old 18-02-2011, 04:55 AM   #1
luciferhorus
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Default The Seven Signs (of a Christian Charlatan).

The Seven Signs.

Lucifer


Since it seems that almost every thread on the "Religion" sub-forum here is now little more than an excuse for endless inane ramblings by the Biblical fanatics, I thought I would just add another "Jesus" thread.



"He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;

They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."
Mark 16.



Consider the 7 Signs of those who are allegedly "not" condemned according to the Gospel of Mark

1: You must believe.
2: you must be baptised.
3: You must be able to perform exorcisms.
4: You must be able to speak in New Tongues.
5: You must be able to pick up serpents.
6: You must be able to safely drink any deadly poison.
7: You must be able to lay hands on the sick and miraculously cure them.


If you do not have the 7 signs, you are allegedly condemned by the first century religious fanatic and fake healer Jesus and you won't get to spend all eternity with other fake healers and religious charlatans.



It was also stated by the Jesus of the Gospels that you would do even "greater things than he."

I think that the "belief only" theology was possibly developed because the professional Christian hypocrites realised that many of the teachings of Jesus were either too hard or impossible to follow.



We know that Christians cannot safely drink poison or miraculously cure leprosy and blindness, and since the professional Christian hypnotists know this also, they have just developed this much easier "belief only" theology, where you just become a rambling religious fanatic, talk incessantly about the teachings of Jesus, and yet reject the teachings of Jesus, apart from a few ethical maxims about love and so forth, which were common to that era; it is really just all about "believing" and about acting like a total hypocrite and being eternally rewarded for that.



Unfortunately many professional hypnotists of the multi-billion dollar Jesus business do claim to be able to perform miracles and simply prey on the sick, the elderly, the disabled and the vulnerable.



Literary and Historical Criticism of the Bible.

A common response to the 7 signs is to argue that this text is a later addition to the Gospel of Mark; however this is generally just a "selective" argument which ignores the overall conclusions of Biblical historical and literary criticism; if such an argument is accepted, one may as well discard the entiretly of the Bible as an edited, re-edited and fabricated document. More on "Is the New Testament Fabricated & Fraudulent? on: http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=154079

The Dialogue Fallacy

The "dialogue" fallacy is a common fallacy used by Christians who simply selectively "cherry pick" and "quote mine" the Gospels for statements which they agree with and statements which they reject; those statements which they reject (such as no shoe wearing, no money carrying, no more than one robe, obey the (Mosaic) Law and the Prophets) are often responded to with the "dialogue fallacy," which is essentially the position that "some" of the unpopular teachings of the allegedly unchanging, perfect Jesus (whose teachings will allegedly last till the end of time) are not relevant today, and were only relevant to his contemporaries to whom he was referring; the "dialogue fallacy is a "fallacy" of course, because "all" of Jesus's teachings are in the form of dialogues where he was addressing other persons; thus one might as well reject the entirety of his teachings on this basis

Lux

"The criticism of religion is the premise of all criticism."
Marx

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Old 18-02-2011, 10:44 AM   #2
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You reap what you sow. If you don't believe Christians have the spirit of God, then fine. Consider yourself, and who you are serving. No one serves himself.
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Old 15-03-2011, 11:40 PM   #3
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You reap what you sow. If you don't believe Christians have the spirit of God, then fine. Consider yourself, and who you are serving. No one serves himself.
Your a fail..stop posting
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Old 16-03-2011, 12:05 AM   #4
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Oh the world of the prophetic pulpit pimps hauling in $$$$$$ while blinding the sheeples with BS....you gotta love it! Glad to see your back posting LH....
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Old 16-03-2011, 12:49 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by luciferhorus View Post
Consider the 7 Signs of those who are allegedly "not" condemned according to the Gospel of Mark

1: You must believe.
2: you must be baptised.
3: You must be able to perform exorcisms.
4: You must be able to speak in New Tongues.
5: You must be able to pick up serpents.
6: You must be able to safely drink any deadly poison.
7: You must be able to lay hands on the sick and miraculously cure them.


If you do not have the 7 signs, you are allegedly condemned by the first century religious fanatic and fake healer Jesus and you won't get to spend all eternity with other fake healers and religious charlatans.
There is a requirement for Baptisim, however Mark 16:16 states only he that believeth not shall be damned. Therefore the list above is irrelevant with the exception of point 1.
This is classic legalistic babble worthy of the Pharisees! What the author of this thread is asking Christians to do is precisely what Satan was asking Jesus to do in the wilderness (Matt 4:7), and only deserves the same response :- "Thou shalt not temp the Lord thy God" (Deut 6:16)
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Old 16-03-2011, 03:33 AM   #6
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That is correct it is Number One and the Only Requirement... To be a Believer...

The First Devil to be cast out is done... The one inside of the non-believer...

This is the First Healing... And one will speak in a new tongue...

His mouth will be clean...

Self Healing is the First Step...

The rest is irrelevant there is no required ritual to perform...

In Fact the Self Healing Process is in Private...

A humble man needs no show to be a believer...

It's the non-believer that needs the miracles, the wonders, When the Beginning meets the Ending... There are no miracles to get one to follow...

All are in place... They have followed and now are safe...

The non-believers are the skeptics they deny what's going on around them...

It's plain to see that this year has really started off on the crazy side...

Not one can deny this...
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Old 16-03-2011, 05:09 AM   #7
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Typical responses from Christians who simply cherry pick and quote mine the Bible to suit their own personal beliefs, misinterpretatons and prejudices.

Whatever next? Soon the Christians will probably resort to promoting the outrageous and diabolical blasphemy of fig eating.



Death to all fig eaters. Fig eaters should be stoned to death.

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That is correct it is Number One and the Only Requirement... To be a Believer...
No. In addition to the vile heresies of fig eating, shoe wearing, having more than one robe and carrying money, there are numerous other requirements such as following the primitive and barbaric Mosaic Law.

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. Mt. 5

Therefore Christians who intermarry with Gentiles (Deut. 7:3), work on the Sabbath (Ex. 20:10), eat meat with milk (Ex. 34:26), settle in Egypt (Deut. 17:16) cut their beards (Lev. 19:27), cut their hair (Lev. 19:27), eat shelfish and numerous other matters concerning the 613 mitzvot (commandments / laws) should all be stoned to death.

Lux

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Old 16-03-2011, 05:55 AM   #8
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True enough. But why all of the hatred? Surely you'd be just as bad as the hypocritical "believers"?

In fact, you write much like how a pastor giving a fire'n'brimstone homily would speak.

As long as no one tries to push their fantasies on me, I'm okay with it. Whatever helps those folks sleep at night.
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Old 16-03-2011, 06:35 AM   #9
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And so the rumor is baptism should take place:

A. As soon as the infant has come forth.

B. A sort while after, while in infancy.

C. Before the age of six (which is the age of reckoning, so "they" say.)

D: I don't know, and frankly LH you have always freaked me out, but you have a point in exposing false Christians.
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Old 16-03-2011, 08:55 AM   #10
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And so the rumor is baptism should take place:

A. As soon as the infant has come forth.

B. A sort while after, while in infancy.

C. Before the age of six (which is the age of reckoning, so "they" say.)

D: I don't know, and frankly LH you have always freaked me out, but you have a point in exposing false Christians.
It's an interesting question coco, but seeing as John the Baptist was preaching people to repent as the kingdom of Heaven is near (Matt 3:2) and Peter also tells us to Repent and be baptized (Acts 2:38) we can be certain that one must have a full appreciation of what true repentance is before baptisim, which would mean that all of your options don't really apply.
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Old 16-03-2011, 12:18 PM   #11
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A child baptism is not a requirement it is a ritual... Just to show that the parents have selected to raise their child as a christian... Nothing more...

As a child I was not baptized... Nor has any man baptized me... But I have been baptized... A believer understands this one... A Non-believer hasn't a clue on what I have just revealed...
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Old 16-03-2011, 03:21 PM   #12
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Oh the world of the prophetic pulpit pimps hauling in $$$$$$ while blinding the sheeples with BS....you gotta love it!
Agreed.

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Glad to see your back pasting LH....
Fixed.
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Old 16-03-2011, 08:19 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by luciferhorus View Post
The Seven Signs.

Lucifer


Since it seems that almost every thread on the "Religion" sub-forum here is now little more than an excuse for endless inane ramblings by the Biblical fanatics, I thought I would just add another "Jesus" thread.
Ahoy!!!!!!!!luciwooci!!!

You are certainly free to post yet another Thread on 'Jesus', but I must say you have yet to actually understand him beyond a Westboro Baptist Church Literalism, the lowest un-nuanced level of understanding-you exhibit no evolutionary progress,

Try this for a little nuance, also It seems you relate to this ancient Text from a Post-Modernist perspective which is all wrong, you have to understand the Text from the Culture and Time when it was scribed.

JESUS AND THE IDENTITY OF GOD

http://www.ntwrightpage.com/Wright_JIG.htm


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Old 16-03-2011, 08:44 PM   #14
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Is this a community or just a place to bait people? Original Poster is not the first to paint the bible as absurd. How about something more difficult, like tying your shoelaces maybe.
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Old 17-03-2011, 07:44 AM   #15
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Great thread.
Why are there so many religious people on this site anyway? In my mind it does not add up.
Z
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Old 17-03-2011, 08:28 PM   #16
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Great thread.
Why are there so many religious people on this site anyway? In my mind it does not add up.
Z

So that the Forum is not just an Echo Chamber of Woo Woo Paranoiac Mythology and Psuedo History.......

....




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Old 17-03-2011, 09:38 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by luciferhorus View Post
Typical responses from Christians who simply cherry pick and quote mine the Bible to suit their own personal beliefs, misinterpretatons and prejudices.

Whatever next? Soon the Christians will probably resort to promoting the outrageous and diabolical blasphemy of fig eating.



Death to all fig eaters. Fig eaters should be stoned to death.



No. In addition to the vile heresies of fig eating, shoe wearing, having more than one robe and carrying money, there are numerous other requirements such as following the primitive and barbaric Mosaic Law.

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. Mt. 5

Therefore Christians who intermarry with Gentiles (Deut. 7:3), work on the Sabbath (Ex. 20:10), eat meat with milk (Ex. 34:26), settle in Egypt (Deut. 17:16) cut their beards (Lev. 19:27), cut their hair (Lev. 19:27), eat shelfish and numerous other matters concerning the 613 mitzvot (commandments / laws) should all be stoned to death.

Lux
You have misunderstood the metaphor of the fig tree, 'ye shall know them by their fruits' 'a corrupt tree cannot bring forth good fruit' as you have proved by your fruits my friend, you need to start seeding good fruit!
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Old 17-03-2011, 10:34 PM   #18
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There is a requirement for Baptisim, however Mark 16:16 states only he that believeth not shall be damned. Therefore the list above is irrelevant with the exception of point 1.
This is classic legalistic babble worthy of the Pharisees! What the author of this thread is asking Christians to do is precisely what Satan was asking Jesus to do in the wilderness (Matt 4:7), and only deserves the same response :- "Thou shalt not temp the Lord thy God" (Deut 6:16)
Jesus Christ did not tell the thief on the cross next to him he had first to conform to 7 conditions.Trying to sow the seed of doubt to those Christians that post here is futile.....we can think for ourselves otherwise we wouldn,t be here.

The problem with Luciferhorus is that he is already well and truely fucked with absolutely no intention of putting a stop to his subhuman antics,he,s gone too far,way too far,so may as well be hung for a sheep rather than a lamb.
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Old 17-03-2011, 10:42 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by zerkaa View Post
Great thread.
Why are there so many religious people on this site anyway? In my mind it does not add up.
Z
That,s because your mind has been corrupted and is shut tight.

Now think brain.......what is the illuminati ?

This site is based on religion isn,t it ? I mean the illuminati are said to possess the true knowledge of Christ.

What !!!!!! you didn,t know that ???

Does it add up now ?
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Old 17-03-2011, 10:46 PM   #20
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You have misunderstood the metaphor of the fig tree, 'ye shall know them by their fruits' 'a corrupt tree cannot bring forth good fruit' as you have proved by your fruits my friend, you need to start seeding good fruit!
There is more chance of Prince Charles sleeping rough underneath Vauxhall bridge
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