Diary of A Guy in Love

[cafetimes1991]

Romantic title, right? Anyway, this isn't meant to be a joke, but I didn't want to put it in the General section or whatever because it's not related to conspiracies...

Basically, I'm eighteen and have just started university (studying languages). I spent the last six years at an all boys school and am now ridiculously inexperienced with girls (haven't kissed a girl in years).

But, I've met a girl (called Amy) who is wonderful. She's intelligent, has a great sense of humour and is beautiful (blonde hair, haven't been able to make out her eye colour yet or even look directly at her as I'm so nervous around her).

Every time I'm around her I get tongue-tied, and I know I sound like an over-emotional teenager, but I'd really appreciate your advice on the following issues:

How should I talk to her? People say ''be yourself'' but this doesn't seem enough. People also say ''be funny'' which is the only thing I'm good at. But, I also often read that girls hate ''wimps'' and I think I come across as sort of like that.

Okay, odd thread in an odd place lol, but post here whatever you know about attracting girls basically and I'll keep you updated. She seems to really like me some days and disinterested others haha. I have friends that are girls but this is different. Any questions please ask.

Brian

[hunter77]

Originally Posted by cafetimes1991

Romantic title, right? Anyway, this isn't meant to be a joke, but I didn't want to put it in the General section or whatever because it's not related to conspiracies...

Basically, I'm eighteen and have just started university (studying languages). I spent the last six years at an all boys school and am now ridiculously inexperienced with girls (haven't kissed a girl in years).

But, I've met a girl (called Amy) who is wonderful. She's intelligent, has a great sense of humour and is beautiful (blonde hair, haven't been able to make out her eye colour yet or even look directly at her as I'm so nervous around her).

Every time I'm around her I get tongue-tied, and I know I sound like an over-emotional teenager, but I'd really appreciate your advice on the following issues:

How should I talk to her? People say ''be yourself'' but this doesn't seem enough. People also say ''be funny'' which is the only thing I'm good at. But, I also often read that girls hate ''wimps'' and I think I come across as sort of like that.

Okay, odd thread in an odd place lol, but post here whatever you know about attracting girls basically and I'll keep you updated. She seems to really like me some days and disinterested others haha. I have friends that are girls but this is different. Any questions please ask.

Brian

being yourself is important as you can't carry on a false bravado for ever.

humour is very important, it breaks down barriers.try having a laugh, take the piss out of yourself and be humble but not weak. i know what some might say on here about bravado and sorts, but i take it you really like this girl and don't just wan't to bed her.

being a laugh isn't being a wimp tbh. people are strong in diffent ways. don't belive all you read. most people who post about women on here do so in there internet persona, and make alot of it up. they wan't to sound cool cause basiclly they arn't. they make the shit up. we all know who they are.

and tbh if it's meant to happen it will happen. trying to hard can make things and you seem unatural. never a good starting point. theres no magic answer but use the tools youve got to the best of your ability.

best of luck m8

[cafetimes1991]

Originally Posted by hunter77

being yourself is important as you can't carry on a false bravado for ever.

humour is very important, it breaks down barriers.try having a laugh, take the piss out of yourself and be humble but not weak. i know what some might say on here about bravado and sorts, but i take it you really like this girl and don't just wan't to bed her.

being a laugh isn't being a wimp tbh. people are strong in diffent ways. don't belive all you read. most people who post about women on here do so in there internet persona, and make alot of it up. they wan't to sound cool cause basiclly they arn't. they make the shit up. we all know who they are.

and tbh if it's meant to happen it will happen. trying to hard can make things and you seem unatural. never a good starting point. theres no magic answer but use the tools youve got to the best of your ability.

best of luck m8

Thanks for the reply, hunter. I appreciate it.

Haha, I can't even carry on a false bravado, but, as you say, it would be unhelpful to say the least. At the moment though I seem to be acting like Hugh Grant around her, or indeed Niles around Daphne.

It seems humour is the only thing I'm good at with girls. I can easily make them laugh, but then they seem to think of me as a brother, getting me nowhere. But, humour is still my strongest feature so I intend on using it (but not too much). For example, two of our lectures have funny accents so that kept us amused for hours.

While she is mature, in our classes she spends most of her time with others in the class. In one, the only other boys are in second year Law. They make me look like I'm twelve, and they often make unfunny jokes and tell stories of getting into nightclubs, getting drunk etc. I just don't see what she sees in them. Why do all girls just seem to like... well, I don't want to say idiots because they are nice people.

My plan for Monday: after classes walk her to the road where she meets her mother as everyone has disappeared then and it's on my way back to my accommodation anyway. Then, ask her if she has facebook (I never use it but seriously tried to improve my profile today) and maybe we can get to know a lot about each other that way. Plus I'll find out if she has a boyfriend already or not. My brother keeps telling me ''it's okay to be just friends'' but I know he has had his heart broken by girls before...

[cafetimes1991]

I have improved my facebook page as much as possible but still need more friends and wall posts. If anyone here would like to be friends, PM me or post here.

[samina]

Got some bad news for you - be yourself really is the best advice. The trouble is that at 18 there's not enough of yourself ready to be used.

Guys get turned on by looks, you've said this much about yourself but a girl is much more turned on by behaviour, what you say, and, unbelievable, smell. Invest in an expensive after shave.

Don't worry too much about Amy laughing etc at the other twerps, she's probably only doing it for the same reason a lot of girls start to smoke, they don't want to look out of place amongst the others.

Basically the problem is your own makeup. The best advice I can give you is take up with a woman twice your age, there are plenty about who "like 'em young." They get a big a kick out of having a boy virgin as much as a lot of guys get with a virgin girl so don't hesitate. Don't try to pick one up because you won't get far, simply make it obvious that you're available, picking you up is half their fun.

Believe me, after a few months you'll have no trouble with Amy, in fact you'll probably have found better by then. Good luck.

[cafetimes1991]

Originally Posted by samina

Got some bad news for you - be yourself really is the best advice. The trouble is that at 18 there's not enough of yourself ready to be used.

Guys get turned on by looks, you've said this much about yourself but a girl is much more turned on by behaviour, what you say, and, unbelievable, smell. Invest in an expensive after shave.

Don't worry too much about Amy laughing etc at the other twerps, she's probably only doing it for the same reason a lot of girls start to smoke, they don't want to look out of place amongst the others.

Basically the problem is your own makeup. The best advice I can give you is take up with a woman twice your age, there are plenty about who "like 'em young." They get a big a kick out of having a boy virgin as much as a lot of guys get with a virgin girl so don't hesitate. Don't try to pick one up because you won't get far, simply make it obvious that you're available, picking you up is half their fun.

Believe me, after a few months you'll have no trouble with Amy, in fact you'll probably have found better by then. Good luck.

Thanks for the reply. Like the avatar. And it's great to get advice from someone in the city of love (I liked Paris when I was there anyway, Amy has been all over the world it seems).

There doesn't seem to be any silver bullet. I should just be myself. What sort of aftershave do you use? I put on some Lynx Africa every morning but that's it.

My fear is she really does like these guys, but maybe she is just trying to fit in. Guess we'll see.

Haha, I am way better at talking to older women, but I don't think they would be interested in some teenager like me. I'm not even sure where to find them properly. Maybe the hotel next to campus, but I think I would be shot down.

I hope you're right about Amy. My Scorpio astrology guide to October 2010 says to let love develop slowly and not to rush things so I guess I'll take it easy.

[samina]

At least you made me laugh. I was born in Pakistan, November 1976 (so I'm scorpio too), came to live here when I was 13, and as for the after-shave, samina is a girls name so it looks as if you really do need a few lessons when it comes to girls.

As for finding the older ones, I don't go out much myself but if you're in a university town sign on with some of the litterary circles or animal rights associations, political party, or whatever your interests are. Get out of your own age group activities.

[heuer]

Just need to relax and be calm. She is just a human-being like everybody else.

Hopefully she doesn't like the other nightclub kids.

It seems a lot of girls enjoy this macho male kind of thing.

I think it's quite sad.

But anyway, if things don't work out no need to get disappointed there are billions of females still left.

[cafetimes1991]

Oh boy, what a romantic, idyllic idiot I've over the past three months. I see my last post here was on October 10, so I'll just give you some info from the past month in bullet point format, because it seems like I'm writing what I want to say quicker...

The first few days with Amy was great, but on September 30 she (the same week we met) changed suddenly and posted on her facebook page that I was an ''absolute weirdo''. Why, I have no idea, and I still ask myself what I did wrong every thirty seconds or so. To make things worse, I didn't discover this post until October 15. My heart was shattered, as I still thought I had some hope of a chance with her. I wondered whether I should ask her about the post, as things were improving between us again. But, I was warned not to by my family (especially my brother). However, a few agonizing days later I confronted her about it (read: awkwardly brought up the topic). She said ''yeah, sorry about that'' sarcastically, turned on her heals and walked away, and we haven't spoken since. She completely ignores me.

And the cherry, on the icing, on the cake; to impress her and so I would have money to go out, I started a job at a tough nightclub, collecting glasses from 10pm to 3am every Saturday. Hopefully I can survive there until New Year's and then volunteer at an animal rescue centre or something.

So there you have it, I completely fucked up as always. It's like I'm living in Groundhog Day...

[bluebunny]

Originally Posted by cafetimes1991

Oh boy, what a romantic, idyllic idiot I've over the past three months. I see my last post here was on October 10, so I'll just give you some info from the past month in bullet point format, because it seems like I'm writing what I want to say quicker...

The first few days with Amy was great, but on September 30 she (the same week we met) changed suddenly and posted on her facebook page that I was an ''absolute weirdo''. Why, I have no idea, and I still ask myself what I did wrong every thirty seconds or so. To make things worse, I didn't discover this post until October 15. My heart was shattered, as I still thought I had some hope of a chance with her. I wondered whether I should ask her about the post, as things were improving between us again. But, I was warned not to by my family (especially my brother). However, a few agonizing days later I confronted her about it (read: awkwardly brought up the topic). She said ''yeah, sorry about that'' sarcastically, turned on her heals and walked away, and we haven't spoken since. She completely ignores me.

And the cherry, on the icing, on the cake; to impress her and so I would have money to go out, I started a job at a tough nightclub, collecting glasses from 10pm to 3am every Saturday. Hopefully I can survive there until New Year's and then volunteer at an animal rescue centre or something.

So there you have it, I completely fucked up as always. It's like I'm living in Groundhog Day...

My heart goes out to you,we all know what its like to be young and have youre heart broken,but believe me you'll get over it.Its just one of those experiences that everyone has to go thru sometime I guess. You sound like a really lovely guy and you should thank your lucky stars that youve had a lucky escape because believe me this girl wasnt worth having, what she did to you was cruel ,mean and very rude . No woman who behaves like that is going to make you happy. (i am a woman by the way).
Most women arent like that, most of them are nice so theres every chance you'll have better luck next time!

[heuer]

Originally Posted by cafetimes1991

Oh boy, what a romantic, idyllic idiot I've over the past three months. I see my last post here was on October 10, so I'll just give you some info from the past month in bullet point format, because it seems like I'm writing what I want to say quicker...

The first few days with Amy was great, but on September 30 she (the same week we met) changed suddenly and posted on her facebook page that I was an ''absolute weirdo''. Why, I have no idea, and I still ask myself what I did wrong every thirty seconds or so. To make things worse, I didn't discover this post until October 15. My heart was shattered, as I still thought I had some hope of a chance with her. I wondered whether I should ask her about the post, as things were improving between us again. But, I was warned not to by my family (especially my brother). However, a few agonizing days later I confronted her about it (read: awkwardly brought up the topic). She said ''yeah, sorry about that'' sarcastically, turned on her heals and walked away, and we haven't spoken since. She completely ignores me.

And the cherry, on the icing, on the cake; to impress her and so I would have money to go out, I started a job at a tough nightclub, collecting glasses from 10pm to 3am every Saturday. Hopefully I can survive there until New Year's and then volunteer at an animal rescue centre or something.

So there you have it, I completely fucked up as always. It's like I'm living in Groundhog Day...

Don't worry man, it's normal to go crazy about your first few loves. It's just a psychological thing, but in reality it doesn't mean shit. You'll find the right girl, and she doesn't sound like she's it. You'll get over her, just a matter of time.

Dunno why you're making yourself feel so bad. From what you've posted she seems to be the issue.

[cafetimes1991]

Originally Posted by bluebunny

My heart goes out to you,we all know what its like to be young and have youre heart broken,but believe me you'll get over it.Its just one of those experiences that everyone has to go thru sometime I guess. You sound like a really lovely guy and you should thank your lucky stars that youve had a lucky escape because believe me this girl wasnt worth having, what she did to you was cruel ,mean and very rude . No woman who behaves like that is going to make you happy. (i am a woman by the way).
Most women arent like that, most of them are nice so theres every chance you'll have better luck next time!

Thanks, bluebunny. Yeah, that's what my mom and brother keep telling me. The other day my brother and I were in our apartment or driving in his Golf (I forget which one). There was a silence, and I asked ''how did you know about Amy?'' ''I just knew'' he replied. At the same time, I was in awe of my older brother's wisdom (I thought talking to her about it straight away was by far the best, if most awkward, option) and angry with myself for thinking I had a chance with her.

Originally Posted by heuer

Dunno why you're making yourself feel so bad. From what you've posted she seems to be the issue.

Yeah, I keep telling myself that, but it only helps a little. Although deep down I think there must be something wrong with me to evoke a response from Amy like her September 30 post.

Today I saw that Amy liked the group/page thing on facebook Fall in love with someone who deserves your heart. Not someone who plays with it.
Good luck with that, Amy...