middleway00
26-09-2008, 06:39 PM
Hello,
Lately over the past 12 months, my right ear has been swollen inside it seems. You may say, "well go see a doctor" but this isn't an ear problem. This is some type of energy problem.
You see about a year ago I had a very brief kundalini experience that happened when I was bumming around with some friends. I felt a surge of energy travel up my spine and into the center of my mind and no further. It felt great at the time and seemed to leave me in a balance that I haven't felt since early childhood.
It was then that a friend of a friend got into the mix that I wasn't real comfortable with. That was when my world collapsed. I fell into a mental paralysis that left me paranoid and confused.
Fast forward to now. I've been slowly learning that lesson that I need to trust myself and allow people to be the way they are, ALL THE TIME. Not just with a certain group. Obviously right?
So last night, I was sleeping in my bed, having positive dreams when I woke up in a semi awake consciousness that was aware that I was in bed but simultaneously I was also very aware of this powerful dream like energy that was riding through the right side of my head as well as up and down my right leg and hips.
Oddly I wasn't quite awake enough to realize what was happening. I was still a bit apprehensive of the whole situation. I felt as if I was on the edge of a cliff. It wasn't a negative place, but I knew in the back of my mind that if I were to let go fully, it may kill me as I know myself to be. Which would be a GREAT thing, but of course my ego seemed to get the best of me in that place of semi awareness.
Simultaneously my left side felt as if it were floating in space, completely weightless. My mind felt split in two at the time. A part of me was saying, it's ok, let go. But my ego and my rightside remained tense and unsure.
Meanwhile the sound of the energy was electric like, I'm not sure if it was electromagnetic energy that was out of balance, but somehow I was able to sense a serene peace of the relaxed side of the mind and body, and the apprehension of the right side. Both physically and mentally/personally.
I hope this post isn't just me ranting about how off tempo I've been. I intended to see if this type of off balancedness is part of a kundalini awakening. If it is, what kind of meditation could I enter that would help balance my awareness?
BTW I been finding it hard to enter meditate lately(for months really), but at the same time, my mind has been more clear in general. That maybe because I've been contemplating the lessons I've missed in the past and lessons that lay before me now.
And ideas?
Lately over the past 12 months, my right ear has been swollen inside it seems. You may say, "well go see a doctor" but this isn't an ear problem. This is some type of energy problem.
You see about a year ago I had a very brief kundalini experience that happened when I was bumming around with some friends. I felt a surge of energy travel up my spine and into the center of my mind and no further. It felt great at the time and seemed to leave me in a balance that I haven't felt since early childhood.
It was then that a friend of a friend got into the mix that I wasn't real comfortable with. That was when my world collapsed. I fell into a mental paralysis that left me paranoid and confused.
Fast forward to now. I've been slowly learning that lesson that I need to trust myself and allow people to be the way they are, ALL THE TIME. Not just with a certain group. Obviously right?
So last night, I was sleeping in my bed, having positive dreams when I woke up in a semi awake consciousness that was aware that I was in bed but simultaneously I was also very aware of this powerful dream like energy that was riding through the right side of my head as well as up and down my right leg and hips.
Oddly I wasn't quite awake enough to realize what was happening. I was still a bit apprehensive of the whole situation. I felt as if I was on the edge of a cliff. It wasn't a negative place, but I knew in the back of my mind that if I were to let go fully, it may kill me as I know myself to be. Which would be a GREAT thing, but of course my ego seemed to get the best of me in that place of semi awareness.
Simultaneously my left side felt as if it were floating in space, completely weightless. My mind felt split in two at the time. A part of me was saying, it's ok, let go. But my ego and my rightside remained tense and unsure.
Meanwhile the sound of the energy was electric like, I'm not sure if it was electromagnetic energy that was out of balance, but somehow I was able to sense a serene peace of the relaxed side of the mind and body, and the apprehension of the right side. Both physically and mentally/personally.
I hope this post isn't just me ranting about how off tempo I've been. I intended to see if this type of off balancedness is part of a kundalini awakening. If it is, what kind of meditation could I enter that would help balance my awareness?
BTW I been finding it hard to enter meditate lately(for months really), but at the same time, my mind has been more clear in general. That maybe because I've been contemplating the lessons I've missed in the past and lessons that lay before me now.
And ideas?