seeker1111
11-07-2008, 07:47 PM
This, also I wrote a couple of years back.
The other day I was on the bus, being cajoled on all sides. "Bob's" foreign butt cheeks rubbing up against my purse, a belch on one side by a caucasian curly haired chubby kid, no older than 14 in jeans down to his ankles, large lopsided cap, and a gleaming $$ necklace hanging around his neck. I could also tell the last thing he had eaten was a pepperoni stick. On the other side was an asian woman shouting to her son sitting at the back of the bus, and an elderly grumpy looking woman with amazingly bright blue eye shadow, and the largest glasses I have EVER seen. She even had a nametag..."Wanda".
Meanwhile, she's snapping at the asian woman telling her "Don't SHOUT in my ear!" The asian woman of course doesn't speak a word of English and so continues to shout. Wanda pulls herself tighter into her corner clutching her purse for dear life, I pull mine out of reach of "Bob's" butt cheeks and 'Wankster kid' has pulled out a cell phone and begins using the word "homie" incessantly. The asian woman has run out of things to say, and so sits silently, finally. I sigh and thinking only two more stops and we're good to go,I might just be able to avoid a blaring migrain by the time I get home.
Suddenly the bus slams on its breaks. "Bob's" butt cheeks careen straight in my hands, "Wankster kid" goes flying into the asian woman who in turn falls into Wanda. Wanda looks like she's going to have a heart attack. I grab onto the handrail for dear life and the possibly last thought I could ever have is..."oh god, i need to wash my hands".
Suddenly the bus screeches to a halt and I look behind me out the window and the strangest sight I have ever seen greeted me. There is a caucasian man with a HUGE afro in an orangy brown suit. He appeared to be in his late 40's, early 50's. There is a carpet of hair bursting out of his unbuttoned shirt and crowning that is a shiny gold chain. He looked he had stepped straight out of the 70's. He was frantically running to catch the bus. As he stepped on, I couldn't stop staring, he was so interesting. He had a beaming smile on his face as he landed himself straight in front of poor Wanda who by this time looks like she HAS suffered a heartattack. Thankfully, my stop is next, and as I am stepping out I glance at a sticker peeling off inside the door, it reads "We hope your trip was enjoyable and pleasant, please ride again"
Enjoyable? That is debatable. Pleasant? Also debatable. Interesting and impressionable? definitely.
I hereby petition for a more accurate sticker inside that bus. What about..."we hope your trip was interesting and unforgettable, (as always) please ride again"
The other day I was on the bus, being cajoled on all sides. "Bob's" foreign butt cheeks rubbing up against my purse, a belch on one side by a caucasian curly haired chubby kid, no older than 14 in jeans down to his ankles, large lopsided cap, and a gleaming $$ necklace hanging around his neck. I could also tell the last thing he had eaten was a pepperoni stick. On the other side was an asian woman shouting to her son sitting at the back of the bus, and an elderly grumpy looking woman with amazingly bright blue eye shadow, and the largest glasses I have EVER seen. She even had a nametag..."Wanda".
Meanwhile, she's snapping at the asian woman telling her "Don't SHOUT in my ear!" The asian woman of course doesn't speak a word of English and so continues to shout. Wanda pulls herself tighter into her corner clutching her purse for dear life, I pull mine out of reach of "Bob's" butt cheeks and 'Wankster kid' has pulled out a cell phone and begins using the word "homie" incessantly. The asian woman has run out of things to say, and so sits silently, finally. I sigh and thinking only two more stops and we're good to go,I might just be able to avoid a blaring migrain by the time I get home.
Suddenly the bus slams on its breaks. "Bob's" butt cheeks careen straight in my hands, "Wankster kid" goes flying into the asian woman who in turn falls into Wanda. Wanda looks like she's going to have a heart attack. I grab onto the handrail for dear life and the possibly last thought I could ever have is..."oh god, i need to wash my hands".
Suddenly the bus screeches to a halt and I look behind me out the window and the strangest sight I have ever seen greeted me. There is a caucasian man with a HUGE afro in an orangy brown suit. He appeared to be in his late 40's, early 50's. There is a carpet of hair bursting out of his unbuttoned shirt and crowning that is a shiny gold chain. He looked he had stepped straight out of the 70's. He was frantically running to catch the bus. As he stepped on, I couldn't stop staring, he was so interesting. He had a beaming smile on his face as he landed himself straight in front of poor Wanda who by this time looks like she HAS suffered a heartattack. Thankfully, my stop is next, and as I am stepping out I glance at a sticker peeling off inside the door, it reads "We hope your trip was enjoyable and pleasant, please ride again"
Enjoyable? That is debatable. Pleasant? Also debatable. Interesting and impressionable? definitely.
I hereby petition for a more accurate sticker inside that bus. What about..."we hope your trip was interesting and unforgettable, (as always) please ride again"