controlling anger

[paganus]

does anyone have any techqniches for controlling anger/temper?

[cruise4]

I'll wade in, but without 'the extent of, being known....

I suffer a bit from this. I get well stressed over nothing really. I expect everything to work perfectly and it never does and its designed by idiots etc.

You need to recognise that anger is manipulating yourself. I don't want to be manipulated and assume you don't either. So 'observe' anger rather than 'being' it. This makes you able to recognise you are in an angry state, which otherwise is a very 'unthinking' state. THEN I found that I can control the emotion of anger and 'decide' to calm down.

Initially I kept forgetting what I was trying to achieve and found myself just reacting angrily BEFORE I'd thought about it.

But now I recognise much quicker and then turn it off.

In other words...
Do you like being manipulated by your own emotions, or are YOU going to take control of them.

My twopence worth, for what its worth.

[paganus]

good advice!

[swoarg]

well said cruise4 i have had the same problems and do the same thing recognise your anger and controll it realise that anger is trying to manipulate you and look for an allternative if you cant do that then walk away from wats making you angry
allso try to work out why this anger is there could be some thing from your past or even a feeling of guilt
in some situations people will try to make you angry so you cant think straght
i get angry if i have to much coffee or sugar
an if i have smoked reasin the night before not touched it for years because of this
give us an example of how and when you loose it as i have had an anger problem for years and i find it realy anoying

Swoarg

[indigo]

I used to suffer bouts of anger where I would see red and black out. I wont go in to detail, but all I can say is you need to do some exircise. Seriously, It will get rid of all your pent up tension and emotion and it does work. I am talking from experience here:cool:

[cruise4]

" get angry if I have to much coffee or sugar "
I drink an awful lot of Tea which I'm sure doesn't help. But I think it is a good drink for other reasons and love a cup of Tea more than a smoke.

"and if I have smoked reasin the night before"
This will happen. The trick is to keep smoking:D I'm half serious here. If you smoke on the odd occasion you must expect a downer from it for a day or so, but if you remember what is causing it, you can reduce your anger. The key is to remember that there is a cause in this case.

I think I'm probably something of a Control Feak. Although its something I have worked on and am working on. My father may have something to do with it. We are both similar in this respect I suppose. I lose it around things not working basically, but I'm on my own so others are not a problem. Things are inanimate so how silly is that. I'm also somewhat intense.

One other thing. I don't drink now, not for anything to do with this. But in the past alcohol, especially when copious amounts are drunk quickly, can really unleash it.

I'm now annoyed with myself for being stupid enough to get angry over nothing. I'll also stress, this process of going from 'unthinking' to 'thinking' happens fairly quickly. If you really try it won't take years. I improved within a fortnight.

Even this idea of Psychic Vampirism has helped. I don't want to inflict myself on others I care about anymore. Before I wasn't aware enough to even realise what was happening.

Just saw Indigo's post. I'm sure that can have a role too.

I'm also convinced Processed food has a bigger role to play than you might realise.

[sweetspirits]

I always think of these things as long term and deeper issues and they are. We always want immediate resolutions cause we do need help so instantly at times with things that are out of control. Your an energy being with real issues and needs. I think alot of us have this problem. Look at the society around us. We all get so pissed off about stupid things. I do get angry too and get pissed off about stupid things not to mention people and with regret some friends. I really have tried to commit myself to coping with this along with other complicated issued from a deeper perspective with its own history of its origin. There was something or someone that pissed you off, right (from your earliest memory)? What I`m trying to say is, all our issues whether we like`m or not are rooted back to some earlier time in our life or in some cases that most of us are not aware of during the prenatal times (and its true for some particular issues). I try to believe that we can heal from all levels of differing issues and I try to take it holistic (cause the conventional approach is not advance in this respect). I hear what your saying and maybe if your open to trying and taking a holistic approach I find that this organization with there approach is extremely helpfula nd truthful. check out the web www.tara-approach.org. Let me know what you think of it. Hope all else goes well.

[neil]

I'm with Indigo on exercise. If I feel myself getting too angry, as sometimes happens, I go on a long walk — as far as it takes to tire me out, possibly taking a camera to snap anything interesting that catches my eye. By the end of a long walk I'm generally more grounded and less stuck in my head.

[sweetspirits]

I wanted to finish off but was in a hurry at the time, what I wanted to include about our vulnerability of emotions that includes in large, anger. I recently learnt and felt fascinated by discovering that we have built in our bodies what are called meridian points and chackras that are sensitive energy centers that include an astray of healing capabilities, perhaps you already know about this, but I recently learnt about it and wanted to share this as a longer term affect or commitment to working through complex of emotions that we as humans have become products of. You can get more info and detail from the website I provided and I would recommend the book by Stepahnie Mines the Founder of the Tara approach called `WE ARE ALL IN SHOCK``, ``How overwhelming experiences shatter our lives and what we can do about it`. I found it a really fascinating book and use the techniques on a regular basis and have really helped me with different areas in my life like sleeping problems, anxiety and so on. I appreciate the other suggestions of immediate coping mechanisms cause definitely helpful also. In respect to working on myself I`ve decided to take a long term commitment to getting better with this kind of focus. I hope you will find this info helpful. Again here is the Website www.tara-apporach.org

[cruise4]

A theory occurred to me after reading sweetspirits post. Due to a general rejection of the type of Society we have found ourselves in, we may have an underlying anger at the 'lack of sense' of others around us, and also our inability to succeed, because we sense the bullshit, is bound to leave some social scarring.

If that makes sense.

I have found some solace in what is currently happening. Not because I wish people to enter a PrisonPlanet future, but because it is validation of my beliefs all along.

Our abilities are much greater than this society ever gave us a chance to express. Because we knew better. Thats bound to leave some residual anger isn't it?

[misscpb]

does anyone have any techqniches for controlling anger/temper?

"Anger Releasing" the Cd by Louise L Hay is very good, and its quite cheap.

You could get a pen and paper and write down everyone and everything that has ever hurt you, upset you, angered you, and issues of guilt, shame, hate etc. Including things you may have or feel towards yourself. Then write down how it made you feel, or close your eyes and replay it in your mind, say that you want to say, forgive the person or action and release it. You will be amazed how many pages you will write. Its a wonderful way to get rid of anger you did not even know was suppressed inside of you, and a natural form of healing.

I wish you all the best.

Take Care

[paganus]

thanks a lot! i'll try that!:)