The Queen Visits Abu Dhabi While Suffering From Toothache ...

'Are you thinking what I am thinking, man in dark suit with strange wife?' 

'Yes, man with bandage on his head, but she's the Queen, so what can I do?' 

'Okay, Mr Philip, I understand, my sympathy to you, and, having met you before, my sympathy to the lady with the toothache.' 

'And my sympathy, Mr Arab man, to anyone you know who is female and wants a life of her own.' 

'Let's be honest, all three of us and our families are a bunch of self-obsessed tossers and usurpers, right, who claim to be "royal" when we're not?' 

'Yes, but don't tell that to the great unwashed - they might revolt.' 

'Are you saying the populous are revolting?' 

'Yes, very revolting.' 

'Agreed.' 

'How is your tooth, ma'am?' 

'Do you know what a pain in the face feels like?' 

'Yes, Ma'am, I just met him.'